Facilitating Freedom: The Parents Role in Unschooling

When considering the possibility of home education have you ever thought or said, "but I’m not a teacher!"

Here's the good news: you don’t have to be. In fact, I encourage you to let go of the concept of teaching altogether. Teaching, as traditionally understood, implies a hierarchical process of relaying ideas, principles or information to someone, typically children, for them to learn.

You can spend hours teaching, but that doesn't guarantee the learner will absorb anything. Learning is far from passive. If the learner isn't actively engaged in the subject matter, it becomes coercive learning, which is essentially unwanted and unlikely to be retained or valued. Learning is a by-product of living and is as instinctual as breathing. Each experience, conversation, and interaction becomes a thread in the rich tapestry of our knowledge.

Whether you know it or not, you’ve been practicing unschooling since the day your child was born. Until the moment they step into a formal educational institution, you’ve been their primary guide. YOU taught them fundamental life skills such as eating, speaking, and self care with no external influence or structured curriculum. You offered gentle guidance without pushing them before they were ready. Unschooling is a seamless progression of what you’ve instinctively done as a parent.

Your role is to be their facilitator, guide and their co-adventurer on this educational journey. You'll often find yourself learning alongside them, discovering new passions and insights together. The goal is not to stuff them with things you think they should know, but rather to empower your child to take charge of their own learning destiny.

Remember, you know your child better than anyone else. You understand their interests, strengths, and unique learning style. Use this knowledge to tailor their daily living experience to suit their individual needs. Pay attention to their cues and interests, and be ready to adapt and evolve your approach as they grow and change.

At the same time, trust in your child's innate ability to learn. They’re in tune with themselves and are naturally curious and eager to explore the world around them. Your job is to support and encourage this natural inclination, providing guidance and resources along the way.

It's easy to inadvertently slip into an overbearing role, even with the best intentions. While it's crucial to be actively engaged in our children's lives, it's to the same degree of importance to remain mindful. We have to guard against offering unsolicited assistance, flooding them with ideas, or attempting to force their interests into structured learning experiences. Learning unfolds naturally, and our interference can only impede this process.

"Children do not need to be made to learn to be better, told what to do or shown how. If they are given access to enough of the world, they will see clearly enough what things are truly important to themselves and to others, and they will make for themselves a better path into that world then anyone else could make for them."  -John Holt, How Children Fail

By keenly observing their interests and personalities, you gain valuable insights that inform your role as a facilitator. Notice what sparks their curiosity and how they naturally gravitate towards learning in everything they do. This observation not only guides your approach but also inspires innovative ideas to enrich their educational experience. Equally important is communication. Regularly check in with your child, inviting them to share their thoughts, interests, and desires. Ask open-ended questions about what they want to engage in, places they wish to explore, or experiences they crave. This dialogue fosters a collaborative environment where their voice and interests drive the educational journey.

Facilitating self-directed learning isn't about having all the answers—it's about knowing where to find them. We have a wealth of resources at our fingertips, from the vast expanse of the internet to libraries teeming with books, not to mention the invaluable support of family, friends, educators, and experts in various fields. With such abundance, the opportunities for learning are boundless. You just have to guide your kids with navigating how to find out those things, how to weed through information, and how to decipher it.

There is also great power when we lead by example and demonstrate a genuine love for learning ourselves. When our children witness our enthusiasm for a subject, our dedication to pursuing our interests, and our willingness to recognize when something isn't suitable or fulfilling, it serves as an influential model. By exhibiting a growth mindset characterized by curiosity, adaptability, and problem-solving skills, we instill these valuable traits in our children, planting the seeds for their own lifelong love of learning.

This can all be summed up to say that the role of a parent in unschooling goes far beyond traditional teaching methods. It entails fostering an environment where learning thrives naturally, guided by the child's interests and curiosity. By stepping back and simply living joyfully in a collaborative partnership rather than assuming the role of an instructor, parents empower their kids to be the architect of their own learning.